LIFE BY DESIGN
Improve life through changing habits
Do you feel at the effect of your 'bad' habits?
Any of those sound familiar:
- Fast food, overeating
- Alcohol, Smoking, Drugs, Sex
- Arriving late to meetings
- Forgetting stuff
- Care taking. Not able to say no
- Swearing ...
Habits - Patterns of behaviour that are repeated over and over again until they become automatic. It is easier to do them than not to do them. Once you are used to doing it the prospect of not doing it you will find threatening (like not brushing your teeth).
Habits are built on the natural human trait. Habits are powerful because they are so familiar. Something new and different awakens fear of the unknown. Use the energy how you want: hide or get excited. Choice is yours.
Good vs Bad Habits
Survival mechanism needs:
- Food every few weeks - or too much food under stress… with little nutritional value
- Water every few days - or under stress alcohol consumption… chemical feeling of euphoria to the state of no recollection of whatever is causing the stress
- Air every few minutes - smoking to see own breath while breathing (right to breath ;-)
Everyone deals with additions on some level in life. The question is if we manage them or they start managing us? Is it a healthy enjoyment or a coping mechanism, escape from reality, difficulties, pain, trauma.
Questions for reflection:
- How comfortable are you with yourself?
- Can you experience your negative emotions, pain, thoughts, or you want to numb them, make them disappear?
- Do you have feelings of guilt, shame?
- Did you have a childhood or other trauma that keeps hunting you to this day?
Getting to the root of the deep issues and while holding safe space to explore true reasons of bad habits and additions can be supported by your coach or a therapist. Meanwhile you can also try some tools first. Read further.
Building New Habits
Create beneficial new habits:
- Do it gradually
- Make new habit a good habit
- Start studying successful people
- What do they do - earlier wake up to get things done prior all start interacting them
- Set up time off to do what they need to do
- Exercise to have a strong healthy body
Whatever they do, you can.
Start from inside first.
- Imagine you do that, at your level, mentally
- Program to do it 30 days
Fight or flight mechanism is normal, whatever is new can be hard, it is part of the growth process that you are doing it correctly. To fight it keep practicing. Once you are accustomed it will get easier. You WILL develop a habit, and it will come naturally. Like brushing the teeth, and you will feel uncomfortable if you don’t do it.
How long it takes to make a new habit? 10 days is enough. Remember, you only use force in the physical dimension.
When using mental techniques a strategy is not confrontation. But cooperation. Relax and use your greatest asset, your mind.
Reflect on what you want, especially at level, keep your thoughts positive by thinking only about what you want, this will attract exactly what you desire. In the mental dimension you don’t use effort you use imagination.
Values and Habits
Changing or eliminating a bias or a habit requires a lasting change in the person’s underlying value structure. So if you want your new habits to stick make sure they are in your value system.
Changing bad habits
Get rid of bad habits, create new ones:
- Small changes at a time (1% per day)
- Start by altering the problem, keep making it smaller and smaller
- Change mentally first, so physical is automatic
1. Analise and determine when you do it (eg smoke your first cigarette)
2. Program doing it 1 hr later changing the habit/or a different brand of the cigarettes / or 1 cigarette less every day (1% improvement daily)
3. It is easier to change the new habit than an old one
4. Mark a date on the calendar - 30 days from now - mentally think that you will stop doing it and will never start again
5. 30 day are up you will not want to smoke anymore
Why do you think it is called 30 Day Challenge (yoga, meditation etc)?
Imagination beats will power
Use your imagination to increase your will power.
Program what you desire. Have your imagination and will power to work together.
Important: have a purpose, the reason for what you are doing. If the current reason is not strong enough come up with more reasons. Example: Kids copying your bad habits, have a heart attack leaving family left behind etc.
‘Small steps lead to big successes’
- Do replace alcoholic drink with non alcoholic one. Habit of drinking is the same, intake is different.
Drinking/ Drug habits: Use tomato juice with pepper sauce if you have the urge to drink.
Think of what you can replace the habit with.
- Cigarette replacement is with three deep breaths.
Choice is yours, if one habit won’t work another will.
This works for alcoholics, heroin addicts, smokers. So it will work with you too.
Look for the good
Imitate a super start.
It is easier if you have a map, which you can always improve and adopt to yourself. You are unique as you are. Find someone you find successful and imitate their habits, commonalities:
- Waking up earlier
- Being organised
- People skills…
Look for the good and praise it:
- Recognise feedback for what it is
- If the task is getting easier you are going to the right direction
- As long as you are making progress you are going in the correct direction (new faith and energy)
- Keep going, never give up
- You Can not fail unless you quit
- If you are not getting positive feedback than adjust your direction
- But always keep going
Set your goals, make your plans, then Keep Going.
Ref. Jose Silva, Ultra Mind Systems.
More on Confidence and Limiting Beliefs here
Please send us your reflections on the above questions and we can freely provide you with support and guidance on your journey email@example.com